Back to life again

After quite a long hiatus, I'm back to blogging again. 

I've entered a period in which many amazing and intimate things are happening to me, and which also involve several other people.  Since my last post I couldn't figure out how to sanitize the experiences enough without betraying others' anonymity, so I took to the silence.   And after having gotten a smack-down by one of my readers about betraying that which took place in kiva, I couldn't figure out how to thread that needle again.

After reading some of SARK's on-line journals and after having had an seriously deep experience in a shamanic course this last weekend, I realize that sharing these experiences not only helps me make my Medicine, it helps you make yours, too.

I am currently in a year long, four-meeting shamanic training course that is walking the Peruvian medicine wheel and making great Medicine.  Last weekend was West, and we died.  Initiating three new medicine stones, we expunged shadow traits from our selves, our Ancestral lines and our past life lineage.  And at the end of all of that amazing and deep work, we died.  Each of us had the marvelous opportunity to be underneath a black shroud, to have our chakras disconnected and to have our luminous bodies lifted up and away from our physical bodies.  We heard the eulogies read that we had written, and we got to hear the 'kitchen talk' about us, things people said about us when we were alive. 

Since my husband is taking this course with me, the teacher put us at the same 'casket' so that we got the chance to do this work together.  It was amazingly powerful to disconnect my beloved's chakras and to lift his luminous body away.  I thought that I would be fine, but when it actually came down to it, even though he was not physically dead and I knew that he wasn't, I broke down.  So did he when it was his turn to be 'shaman'. 

We're going to do it again on New Year's and invite friends!  A shamanic friend of our teacher says that it's a good thing to die at least once a year :-)

Part of our discussion about shadow aspects of self was a grand discussion of the Karpman Drama Triangle.  I found this wonderful and concise article on-line that has made several things very, very clear to me about how my family dynamics work, and about how I work, too.  I knew that I had Victim tendencies, but this article also made very clear that I have strong Persecutor tendencies, too!  Yikes.  Gulp. 

Ah well.  Only the shadow knows.