And what a sweet one it was. Jason was 16 when he was diagnosed with an almost inoperable brain tumor. Two surgeons said that couldn't get it, but a third said he could, and did. But he was left with deficits, though not any that slowed his spirit one iota. I think he may truly be one of the sweetest, most good-finding man that has ever lived. If he ever, ever had a negative thought, it was not voiced. He loved everyone and everything. And the world is a darker, dimmer place with him gone from it.
I did get to reconnect with his brother, Phillip, with whom I shared ten childhood years. We have pictures of us in high chairs together, sharing birthday cakes together, and pretty much doing everything little boys do together. He moved many time zones away in pursuit of his personal legend, and I lost track. And found him again at this memorial. And also found his dear little sister who was just an infant when we moved away. Now an M.D. and a mom herself, I was stunned and struck with proof-positive that it's really been 36 years since Phillip and I actually were together. But the time has meant nothing to either one of us - we still consider each other best friends.
Another joy was being with the folks back in the town where I was born. So many memories, so many cues from childhood that came alive again. Spooky and also thrilling. I love my hometown; the energy there is totally incredible. And now it's also filled with adorable, hairy, alternative-lifestyled men, too! WooHoo! So many cuties.
Which brings me to the title of this post: BearToast. When I wrote Joe and told him that I had this memorial service to attend, he wrote me back and said, "come and stay with me!", and so I did. What a totally amazing man! His house is way cute; his back deck opens up to a mountain hillside where turkeys, bears, squirrels and birds roam freely. The turkeys were frequent visitors - I swear they came by two or three times a day to check for food. There was a big one (mamma? Daddy?) and three little ones, "poults" he told me. No gobbling, though. I gobbled at them a couple of times, but got no response. Maybe these are the famed Mute Turkeys.
Joe himself is about a million times more handsome in person than the back-of-the-head pictures I've been able to find on his blog. I've mentioned before that I have a thing for "big". Woof daddy, is he big. Beautifully proportioned and magnificently muscled from what I could see of his legs peeking out of his shorts and his incredibly huge forearms, he's deceptive at first because everything about him just fits together beautifully. And then I stood beside him. And melted when I truly realized how big this guy really is. Man, oh man. Fantasy time.
AND the most wonderful thing to discover about him is that he's a very deep thinker (which I'd already suspected from reading his blog). I've written rather often about my distaste for current church politics in the Episcopal church. Well, Joe made me rethink a lot of that. And he gave me much, much more to ponder and to chew on. Much more fodder for thought, much more ground to consider, many more arguments to have with myself and books to read. Deeply, deeply committed to his faith, yet he is a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Where I am quick to come to a boil and demand a swift, easy decision, Joe takes into account all sides, all peoples hearts. I pride myself on seeing all sides of an argument (a Gemini trait, to be certain), but Joe outdoes me about a million-to-one on this one. And humbles me and doesn't let me get away with my usual sloppy thinking.
This guy's a keeper, folks, a true mensch in every sense. Great dad, good at his work, and deeply connected to people and this world.
Spending time with him and talking and trading words and thoughts with him, I felt the course of my life and the course of my thinking being changed as when one mass in motion strikes another one; I have a new vector now. I have acquired new momentum, energy and a new course from this most friendly collision of bodies.Leaving was hell.
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3 comments:
Thou, sir, dost me great honor. And I hope for many more collsions.
that was lovely and moving; thank you for it.
I checked out the blog, very sexy calves... ha ha.
I can see how it was hard to leave Joe's place. I used to have an old friend Vincent who was like that. I lost touch with him and miss the challenges and deep conversation.
Looking at the picture you put with the post, I can't help but to think of energy transfer. When an electron or positron or whatever encounters another energy, there is a result that usually releases or produces some energy (breaking radiation, compton scattering, electron capture). Kind of when you meet a powerful soul who's energy and thoughts are different from yours but you connect on an intellectual or spiritual level, it kind of renews you and provides a needed energy.
I need a vacation... Joe's place sounds wonderful with all the wildlife. I myself have been thinking of renting a cabin for a few weeks to just have some connect with nature time. Sounds blissful. Especially if it has a jacquzzi (or however you spell it).
Mere in Bham.
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