Chatting

During chat on Facebook tonight, my friend and fellow singer, X, heartily encouraged me to come for a visit after my two week healing intensive that takes place in September very near him. AND a beat later he jokingly asked if I'd be his sugar daddy for a trip to Paris to share a mutual friend's vacant apartment which was offered to the group we both sing with. He also said, point blank, that if I were indeed the sugar daddy, he'd not be able, ethically, to resist me if I were to be, ahem, less than gentlemanly. Which I'd warned him of given the hypothetical setup.

My breath caught.

OK. So. This is a married man. With twin toddler boys. A cute married man. Who incidentally pushes most every physical button I have (I'm usually not drawn to someone this lean, but oh, you kid!). Who also reads energetically like a gay man. Despite the fact that he's married. To a mannish, dykey woman. *sigh* And despite the fact that I'd fuck him in a New York minute. Not merely once have I thought of what it might be like to kiss that soft, auburn-bearded mouth of his, to nibble those plump, expressive lips, to hold that lean and hairy frame while he rides me masterfully with what must undoubtedly be a huge cock given that he's a bass.

He went to Oberlin, so having been immersed in that ambisexual cauldron for four years, he flirts shamelessly and unflinchingly with the gay boys. He's also genuinely sincere, kind, funny, smart, and sweet. Which will do it for me anytime, regardless of body type. And this time the body matches the soul of the man.

I'm completely undone. I left our computer chat and went to the grocery where I wandered, aimlessly, euphoric, on the verge of ecstatic tears. Not because I'd get to fuck this handsome beautiful man (I told him I needed a permission slip from his wife, to which he answered that I could ask her myself when I visited), but that he's so unreservedly my friend, and willing to engage me at this level of intimacy. (And I will ask her, most likely in a joking manner, but will take her answer for true. With luck ...)

If I could but find the soul of this man in a gay body willing to be in a relationship with me I think I would be a very happy man, indeed. And if I could find three to five of these men, well. I'd be in absolute heaven.

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