Auto Haiku

I was tagged for a meme-thingy by Tigeryogiji! My first tag! Yay.

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst movie you can think of.
You can include separately the title and a description, but the line can only be
five syllables.

In seven syllables, no more, no less, describe your worst date. Certainly,
describe in an aside the situation. Bonus points if it was sordid. Subtract
points if it sounds too much like an overweight fifteen year old Goth girl.

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst job you ever had. Same
as above. Extra bonus points if it consists of Grim, Taxi dancer.

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The Whales of August,
He's nothing like his picture!
Dump rancid tampons!
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Line 1: My ex brought home a movie one night called "The Whales of August". Oh. My. God. how dull! The title has passed into our common lexicon, as in, "so what did you think about that concert? 'Whales of August!'"

Line 2: After I was single I began doing the dating thing (never done it before!), and had a coffee date with someone who looked so hot and virile! How lucky I was that he wanted to have coffee with me! The reality was that his on-line picture (such a tired old, sad story) was at least ten years out of date. I'm into older men, true, but this was waaaay beyond what I could handle. And the deception rankled me.

Line 3: When I worked as a construction lackey in central Florida in the summer of 1981 between my freshman and sophomore years of college, every now and then the lackeys drew straws to see who would get the bad jobs. My first short straw that summer was to clean out the used tampon receptacle in the ladies bathroom on the first floor of the dorm we were remodeling. This was June in Florida, a hot June, and school had been out about a month at this point. The A/C had been shut off to this building for about three weeks.

Imagine. Used tampons baking in the heat and humidity for three weeks.

This one, isolated aspect of girls is nasty. Eww.

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