Mentone - Sunday

From my original blog, "Elementals" July 2005:

Wow. So I woke up this morning at the crack o' dawn (so unusual for me) and wandered up to the kitchen. Of the 16 people attending this retreat, I'm the second one up. Incredibly unusual.

Make coffee in a French press. Yum. And overhear J. talking about a vision he had upon waking with elements exactly like mine. The blindingly-white circles with people in them. Oh shit! What does that mean?

Go out to the rock that overlooks the valley and start my meditation. It's a Native American one, and strangely, I'm not surprised to find that as I begin, I hear a drum behind me and a voice singing in what sounds like a Native American tongue. Just seems perfectly natural. And helps me on my way to doing my meditation, for which I'm grateful. As the drum swells, the sun comes out from behind it's cloud, and I know all is right.

I finish and get up. Drumming and singing is still happening, and my friend, C. is sitting on the stairs of the deck, looking at us all down there in the lawn on the edge of they abyss.

Connecting with him this morning is like magnetic attraction. I just like being with this man.

Eventually we begin our ending circle and discussion about what occurred the previous night. I do share about the circles-of-white-light being a strikingly similar vision to J.'s morning one, and the fact that I envisioned and asked for a 're-connecting' during my session. Which I seemed to get in spades.

After all discussion is said and done, G. suggests an ending 'Angel meditation' where the group splits into two lines facing each other and we look into each others' eyes for about a minute, communicating wordlessly with our partners while she says a few words of significance.

This simple exercise is powerful beyond words. I pair up with C. to begin with, and he has a sort of happy smirk on his face. And, his chakras are already wide open to me, something I've never felt from a male who is not also my lover. I mean, this guy is absolutely radiating good energy at me already. Since there are about 15 of us in this circle, it takes a while. And it is one of the most powerful things I've ever done in my life. People were weeping helplessly. Tall men were crumpled on the floor like helpless infants. I was filled with overwhelming joy, light, love, and gratitude for the amazing people I'd come to know in a mere 24 hours. My god, I've never been that intimate with some of my lovers.

After it was all over, C. quipped, "Aw, jeez. That was too intimate. Couldn't we just fuck instead?" Which was hilariously perfect: what I'd just shared with 15 other people was as much or more intimacy than I'd ever had with my partner of 18 years.

I'm still trying to put the pieces together. This was an absolutely amazing, weird weekend in a stunningly beautiful place with very powerful people. Just what is Awakening and how do you do it? I still don't know.

But whatever it is, I know that there's incredible energy and pure, boundless love that's a basic element of the recipe. As C. said to S. (who still retains a healthy dose of skepticism), "even if you don't believe anything's happening, you've got four people around that table loving you absolutely unconditionally. That's powerful."

I agree. I've felt it.
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