Sweet hours

Last night I had dinner with a very, very sweet man who I've recently met and who is taking a class with me at our local Religious Science church. He also showed up at drumming in San Francisco, to my delight.

It's interesting: I felt completely at ease in his presence from the very first moment we met; soul friends from the first mutual glance. That doesn't happen often and is delightful when it does. I recognize it instantly.

After dinner we came back to my house and cuddled on the couch and retired to the bed for more leisurely cuddling and kissing. Clothes, as they are wont to do, came off and we spent a luscious three hours in each other's arms laughing and smiling and playfully exploring. Sacred play is what it was, in the best sense. It's funny; I'm usually a little self-conscious when I'm naked the first time around someone, echoes of past experience coupled with a keen awareness that I'd like this body to be a little different than it is at this point in life, but with him it was the easiest thing in the world. When he complimented me I knew that he actually meant it and wasn't just saying it because he thought it was the right thing to say at the time to keep my heat up.

We didn't plan it, and it wasn't a date though it turned into one.

I've been fondly mulling this over in my head all day as I drove six hours round trip to pick up a clavichord and to also have a lesson with a builder on cutting harpsichord quills and voicing. With JB, my other play pal, we have fun, have great sex, sometimes transcendent sex, but it's sex with no other dimensions to speak of. We're fond of each other, but that's about as far as it goes. This, on the other hand, was play on every conceivable level. My soul delighted, my spirit sang, my heart opened, and my body is deliciously sore and warmly spent from those hours of rare and pleasant acrobatics. That was some damned good church; we fit together like old lovers, and we were both totally aware of each others' divinity, and of the divine laughing and enjoying itself. I'm open today, replete with the experience yet not sated but rather whetted, honed, focused and receptive. Foreplay on a grand scale. Spiritual foreplay. The juices are flowing.

Strangely, I'm not worried about abandonment (my usual response) even though he left for Atlanta for a few days today to visit another guy he met there a month or so ago. Normally my response would be to cling, to want to possess, to have more, to have all. Today I'm calmly certain that more will indeed come and that it will be more amazing than I can visualize. I'm keenly aware that in last night's adventure I was shown a bigger idea of what it can be like to be with another person and connect on many levels. My mental container was gently expanded and now holds larger ideas of what sacred intimacy is really all about. There was intimacy from the moment he walked through my door and at our parting (which is such sweet sorrow that I should say "good night" 'til it be morrow), we said "I love you" and meant it in the biggest and most tender of ways. This is the kind of easy togetherness I've longed for in mates and intimate friends; he just felt like a puzzle piece that fit perfectly my twists and turns, one long absent in the jumble and joyfully well-met when reunited.

On a worldly note he's just coming to terms with the breakup of his thruple which officially happened last week just before he left to visit his brothers in San Francisco. He's seen it coming for a long time and knows it as a natural progression and isn't upset about it. Neither he nor I is looking for a relationship, and yet I have deep conviction that this will turn into a deep and lasting friendship; I felt it in my bones when I first saw him. We've certainly got a huge amount in common, physically, spiritually and intellectually, and our hearts seem to be in the same place too - we finish each others' sentences mostly without realizing or trying. He's an Aquarius Wood Tiger, and I'm a Gemini Water Tiger. And I find him utterly, adorably, sexily charming, and so dear that I want to sling my arm around him and hold him close and kiss him along his way into the magnificent life that's opening up for him. Whatever form our future together takes (and I'm honestly not invested in what that is; I'm content and genuinely amazed and grateful that he showed up at all and that I get the gift of his deeply warming and solidly certain company), it's going to be pretty amazing.

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