San Francisco, welcome me home again

What a place; what a weekend. It's been transformative.

I'm here on a trip with the choir I used to sing with to do an evensong at Grace which we did this evening. Also went to this amazing church on Potrero Hill that was started by two priests who are scholars of the early church - the liturgy is the most amazing thing I've ever experienced in church: dancing with your neighbor as you go to the altar to take communion, handing him/her the cup of wine, commenting to the gathered congregation on what the sermon meant to you. And all in a beautiful building with frescoes of the dancing saints. The sermon was a bullseye about the word "abide" which had heavy meaning about the introit we did for the evensong this afternoon.

Which was at Grace - what an amazing place. I got delayed on my trip out here and so arrived the morning after I was scheduled; I got to the hotel room and bathed and refreshed, then took in the cable car museum (big honkin' machinery! Orgasmic for a gear-head like me) and in the spare moments walked up to Grace which is at the top of the hill near where we're staying. And had an unplanned, unexpected life-shattering moment in the little side chapel as I walked in the door; I was just not prepared to be pierced through by such a strong experience. I honestly can't say just what it was that did it to me, but after a soul-cleaving moment on seeing the symbols of many disparate faiths, Keith Haring altar piece (his last work before he himself died of AIDS), and the chapel itself flanked by a big piece of the AIDS quilt while I shed slow unexpected tears, I walked the indoor labyrinth in my bare feet as the evening sun filtered through the stained glass and onto my path. The question that I held as I walked was "what is it that I'm becoming?" The answer was simple and elegant: your path twists and turns, coming both nearer and farther away from your goal, taking you to places you don't anticipate, yet always drawing you closer to that which you seek. Enjoy. Joy. Joy! The goal itself, the middle sanctuary, is rutilated too: a place of wavy wonder and exquisite still awareness, circumscribed, finite and attainable, yet with an infinite edge. The definite and the wonder of the unexpected, too.

Then I met my friend Drake at the Powell muni station and he took me to the Castro where he volunteers as a Reiki practitioner on Friday evenings at a free men's clinic called Magnet. Amazing. I met several fab men, one of whom is a sexy retired Episcopal priest (who came to evensong this afternoon and who showed up tonight in his leather utilikilt and harness to drumming). The clinic was run by two amazingly handsome bearded muscle bears who kept giving me the eye (wanted to kiss them!). Woof, baby. Afterward had Middle Eastern tapas (lamb kabobs! and fab-u hummus!) with a crazy, adorable nelly latino/swedish man. Yeah, picture that. And was handed a postcard for the Pink Flight, the charter Mardi Gras party luxury flight with drag queen flight stewardesses (well, plus Kathy Griffin) from here to Sydney. Postcard hand-ers were big ole drag queens with Dame Edna glasses in the highest stack pink platform shoes I've ever seen in my life. And they were managing quite well, thank you. And you know? It actually made me want to go.

Yesterday: rehearsal, plus dinner/concert (Medieval Spanish music to the Black Madonna) with friends Paul and Laurie. Wonderful! More lamb!

Tonight after evensong: gay shamanic drumming with sexy men. Kissed ALL the sexy men, including retired priest in leather and utilikilt. And his husband. And my sweet friend Brian from home (sporting a new mohawk with his cute red hair) who happened to be here this weekend, too. Who I'm hoping will come over to my house for lots and lots more kissing.

Tomorrow: early breakfast, then lunch with Paul and Jim, friends from Duke days. Then, Chez Pani$$e for dinner with singing wife to round out my truly amazing, fabulous, wonderful, insert-your-favorite-superlative-here trip.

If I actually lived here I might expire from the pleasure.

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